Here is an interesting request for help that the Holy Spirit had me respond to recently:
I don't know how to explain this without going into a little detail. so here it goes.
I'm 28 and i have two older brothers one is 33 and the other is 31. Well the 31 year old is well i guess very wordly, to say the least. He has abused his wife. physically and emotionally, used his family lied manipulated and stolen, basically anything bad you can name he has done. My mom is the kind of person who will not admit that he has part in how bad his life has become. I am having a really hard time just being arounf him. And God really tested me this weekend when he showed up at our church. Ordinarily I would have sat with my mom but opted to stay in the nursery that day. I know this all sounds really awful, but that isn't all of it so please don't think that I am just being an awful christian. When I was about 4 or 5 he also molested me. I didn't even remember until about 5 years ago, and it only happened once. My mom doesn't know, she thinks I am just having a hard time forgiving all his other indiscreations. But I can't even be around hime, he makes my skin crawl. And I know God wants me to forgive , but I don't think I can. And my mom doesn't really understand why. Now he might show up church again this sunday, and I know how wrong it is for me to say this, but I don't want him there. I feel like my whole sense of security is gone. I don't know what to do can someone please help me?
Here is the reply I felt led to share with her:
First of all, let me commend you for reaching out for help with this difficult situation. Bitterness and anger are to our spirit and soul as sulphuric acid is to the body: They will eat you alive if not quickly neutralized.
May I suggest that until you deal with with the problem of your sense of security, you will have a difficult - if not impossible - time dealing with forgiveness issues. If you are basing your sense of security on your attending church, on your brothers actions, on past experiences or on anything else other than your relationship to God (specifically, who you are in Christ Jesus), then you are building your house of security on a foundation of shifting sand, and it is bound to collapse and fail you.
You see, here’s what I mean: When you become a born again Believer and make Jesus Christ Lord of your life, you become a child of God through the indwelling presence of Christ (Rom 8:9-16). When God becomes your Father, and you humble yourself under His mighty hand, you allow Him to be the Source of all your needs, including the need for security (which happens to be one of a woman’s most important needs). Paul addresses this idea no less than three times in chapter 4 of his epistle to the Philippians. First, in verses 5-7 he says, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests (read - “needs”) to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and you minds in Christ Jesus.” Next, in verse 13 he says, “I can do EVERYTHING (even deal with your brother and mom) through Him who gives me strength.” Finally, in verse 19 he declares, “And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Jesus tells us in Matt 6:25-34 that when we seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, all of our other needs will be met.
Your problems concerning not being able to put your past behind you and not being able to forgive are closely related to a common issue: Not understanding, or not believing, what God has done for YOU, as well as for all mankind; so let’s take a look at that for a few moments. When Jesus came into the world 2000 years ago in order to restore mankind’s ability to have a personal relationship with God, there were two obstacles which had to be resolved: 1) The punishment due for the sins of all men, which is physical death (“...the wages of sin is death” - Rom 6), had to be paid; and 2) The dead spirit (ie, separation from God) all men inherit from Adam because of his disobedience to God’s command had to be restored to life. Think of it this way: If someone you knew died of a disease, and you had the power to bring that person back to life, you would need to do two things. First, you would have to cure the disease (or they would just die again) and then you would need to give them life (or they would just be a healed corpse). Jesus overcame these two obstacles in this way: He gave His life for us (death on the cross), so that He could give His life (resurrected from death) to us, so that He could live His life through us. Hebrews 10:8-18 (please take a few moments to read this) describes how Jesus’ death on the cross resolved the first issue. There are two things you need to get a hold of here: 1) Jesus paid the price for all men for all time (verse 12), and 2) The Holy Spirit of God testifies that as a result of Christ’s sacrifice “Their (Mankind’s) sins and lawless acts I will remember no more. And where these HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.”(vrs 17-18).
Then, 2 Cor 5:14-21 (again, please read this before going on) describes how Jesus, through His resurrection (victory over death) resolved the second obstacle by providing new life to those who will receive it and making US ministers of God’s reconciliation, which is the heart of the Good News of the Gospel. Take particular note of verses 16-19: “So from now on (after we receive Christ into our life) we regard NO ONE (including your brother and mom) from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come. All this is from God, who reconciled (past tense) us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: That God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, NOT COUNTING MEN’S SINS AGAINST THEM.”
You see, Angelray, if you have not made Jesus Christ Lord of your life, you will have to take some of the worldly advice you’ve received here and try and solve your dilemma(s) from a human perspective, which seldom gives you total relief or a lasting peace. But if you are a born again Believer, in view of the Scriptures we’ve looked at above, let me ask you a couple of questions: 1) Are you more important than Christ? Because when you say that you can’t forgive someone, after He already has, isn’t that what you are indicating? 2) Do you know better how to handle your past than God? Because when you say you can’t forget what you’ve done in the past, or others have done to you, isn’t that what you’re suggesting? I mean, if God says that He has already forgotten men’s sins and lawless acts, who do you think is reminding you of those things? (Here’s a great saying: When the devil starts reminding you of your past, start reminding him of his future. Remember, the One who is in you is greater than he that is in the world - 1 John 4:4)
Now please don’t misunderstand me here...I’m not saying that Believers should condone or ignore the evils that people do in this world, because surely that would only encourage them to do more evil. Instead, we need to get alone with the Father and ask for His help, guidance and strength in handling these situations as ministers of His love and His message of reconciliation; because until these people get Life and a new heart, they will seldom change their ways. Let those around you see God working in your life and, believe me, they will be convicted of a need for Him in theirs. Let’s face it...If you are avoiding being around your brother, or acting like he “makes your skin crawl” when you are, he’s probably not going to experience that through you. His coming to church may be the start of his new life in Christ - only God knows what is in His heart. But remember the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32? Surely you don’t want to identify with the jealous sibling.
Finally, consider the words of Paul in Eph 4:31-32: “Get rid of ALL bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with EVERY form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, FORGIVING EACH OTHER, JUST AS IN CHRIST GOD FORGAVE YOU.” Remember, if there is no peace and joy in what you are doing, then God is probably not in it. There’s a saying about this that rings true: No God, no peace...Know God, know peace.
I have petitioned God to help you deal with this situation, and I look forward to hearing your praise report on the results.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
On Weak and Lost Connections
I recently saw this request from a young person (I think the age was around 16) on a Christian forum I frequent:
Do any of you experience a loss of connection between you and God? Do you feel that society today chips away at your faith all the day? My connection with God is turning on and off and its been off for a long time.
I am experiencing these problems and have been advised to read my bible and pray, but thats not enough, unless it works over time.
Can anyone help me?
The following is what I believe the Holy Spirit was showing me about this problem:
I have been praying about how to address your dilemma, because I think the "lost connection" syndrome afflicts way too many of us Christians these days (Isn't it ironic - in the age of instant, space-age communication systems in this world, one of our biggest problems is communicating with God!), and the Holy Spirit gave me a really neat illustration to describe the problem, and how to resolve it! I hope that I can "do justice" on relaying this to you, because I think that it is really good stuff!
Let me ask you something: Do you have a cellphone? Most likely, since they have become a cultural phenomenon around the world, you do, or you have used your parents' or friends' phones and you are familiar with how they operate; so let me ask you this: What would you say are the top three complaints about the operation of cellphones? I would say they are, in order from biggest to smallest: 1) Dropped calls and lost connections; 2) Weak or no signal; and, 3) Discharged or dead battery. Now, there are various solutions to each one of these problems, but did you know that there is one "surefire" answer to all three? I'll give you three guesses as to what that solution is, and the first two don't count. That's right! It's the good old, everyday, cheap, plug-in-the-wall, basic hardwired telephone; and I'm not talking about those portable "jobs", either! I'll have you know that I have caught myself wondering what to do about a weak signal or dropped call when there was a "land line" telephone not 5 steps away from where I was standing...Pathetic, isn't it? Just think, less than 20 years ago, no one ever lost a connection during a phone call, unless you had one of those new-fangled portable phones in your home, or the phone lines were knocked out during a storm.
Now, here is the application to your situation: The cellphone represents our trying to communicate and stay connected with God while trying to conduct our busy lives in this world on the move; The old fashioned telephone represents a place we go to be alone with God (think of a phone booth); the telephone wire represents the Bible, our primary means of connecting with Him; and the phone call and resulting conversation represent our prayer time. That old time telephone call which we make using the “land line” system (which, by the way, is still available in our everyday life) represents our best and most reliable way of staying connected with God. True, we often have to drop what we are doing to use it, but you know what...I don’t think God is much impressed with our “multitasking” prowess anyway.
In fact, I think that one of the main questions we need to ask ourselves when we are having trouble maintaining a connection with God is this: Exactly where does He fit into our prolific use of video games, CD and DVD players, HD TVs, high powered computers and, of course, cellphones? If we think that Almighty God, Maker of the universe and all that is in it, the “Ultimate Multi-tasker”, is going to compete for our time with these manmade gadgets, we are being sadly misled. I believe that He provided the knowledge to create all those “tools” so that He could direct us Believers on how to use them to be more productive in spreading the Good News of the Gospel; but like we often do with the things He provides, we have turned them into a means for our own personal pleasure, perversion and profit - and yes, I’m including “yours truly.”
You can download a book called The Prayer Directed Life for free at www.theprayerdirectedlife.com to help resolve your connection problem, but until you go to your “phone booth” and make that “telephone call,” early and often, you’ll continue to be plagued by weak connections.
Do any of you experience a loss of connection between you and God? Do you feel that society today chips away at your faith all the day? My connection with God is turning on and off and its been off for a long time.
I am experiencing these problems and have been advised to read my bible and pray, but thats not enough, unless it works over time.
Can anyone help me?
The following is what I believe the Holy Spirit was showing me about this problem:
I have been praying about how to address your dilemma, because I think the "lost connection" syndrome afflicts way too many of us Christians these days (Isn't it ironic - in the age of instant, space-age communication systems in this world, one of our biggest problems is communicating with God!), and the Holy Spirit gave me a really neat illustration to describe the problem, and how to resolve it! I hope that I can "do justice" on relaying this to you, because I think that it is really good stuff!
Let me ask you something: Do you have a cellphone? Most likely, since they have become a cultural phenomenon around the world, you do, or you have used your parents' or friends' phones and you are familiar with how they operate; so let me ask you this: What would you say are the top three complaints about the operation of cellphones? I would say they are, in order from biggest to smallest: 1) Dropped calls and lost connections; 2) Weak or no signal; and, 3) Discharged or dead battery. Now, there are various solutions to each one of these problems, but did you know that there is one "surefire" answer to all three? I'll give you three guesses as to what that solution is, and the first two don't count. That's right! It's the good old, everyday, cheap, plug-in-the-wall, basic hardwired telephone; and I'm not talking about those portable "jobs", either! I'll have you know that I have caught myself wondering what to do about a weak signal or dropped call when there was a "land line" telephone not 5 steps away from where I was standing...Pathetic, isn't it? Just think, less than 20 years ago, no one ever lost a connection during a phone call, unless you had one of those new-fangled portable phones in your home, or the phone lines were knocked out during a storm.
Now, here is the application to your situation: The cellphone represents our trying to communicate and stay connected with God while trying to conduct our busy lives in this world on the move; The old fashioned telephone represents a place we go to be alone with God (think of a phone booth); the telephone wire represents the Bible, our primary means of connecting with Him; and the phone call and resulting conversation represent our prayer time. That old time telephone call which we make using the “land line” system (which, by the way, is still available in our everyday life) represents our best and most reliable way of staying connected with God. True, we often have to drop what we are doing to use it, but you know what...I don’t think God is much impressed with our “multitasking” prowess anyway.
In fact, I think that one of the main questions we need to ask ourselves when we are having trouble maintaining a connection with God is this: Exactly where does He fit into our prolific use of video games, CD and DVD players, HD TVs, high powered computers and, of course, cellphones? If we think that Almighty God, Maker of the universe and all that is in it, the “Ultimate Multi-tasker”, is going to compete for our time with these manmade gadgets, we are being sadly misled. I believe that He provided the knowledge to create all those “tools” so that He could direct us Believers on how to use them to be more productive in spreading the Good News of the Gospel; but like we often do with the things He provides, we have turned them into a means for our own personal pleasure, perversion and profit - and yes, I’m including “yours truly.”
You can download a book called The Prayer Directed Life for free at www.theprayerdirectedlife.com to help resolve your connection problem, but until you go to your “phone booth” and make that “telephone call,” early and often, you’ll continue to be plagued by weak connections.
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