A radio talk show host I occasionally listen to named Dennis Prager (The Dennis Prager Show) recently challenged the Christian concept of "Unconditional Love." In my prayer time, I felt impresssed with the idea of responding to his challenge with a letter explaining the Believer's position on what this concept means and how it should be applied. The project took several months of research and waiting for the Holy Spirit to fill in the blank spots. The following letter is the result of my undertaking. I would certainly appreciate
your comments and observations.
Dear Dennis,
Christians believe that the concept of “Unconditional Love” is one that the non-Christians cannot understand or accept because they will not accept the “Unconditional Lover,” Jesus Christ, and the concept of Him residing in those who embrace Him.
You and almost all other “unbelievers” (in Christ) and, sad to say, some people who call themselves Christians, believe that one must earn love and, by extension, must earn the right to be with “Perfect Love” (ie, God) in the Hereafter (ie, Heaven). The inherent problem with this concept is this: Who gets to decide what is being “good enough” to earn one’s love? Who, or what, sets the “bar”? How do I know if I’ve done enough to earn Dennis Prager’s love, and is that enough to earn God’s love also – along with a place in Heaven? Are the standards I have for me loving you the same as your standards for you loving me?
You see, if I compare my life of loving others and doing good to that of Adolf Hitler, I’ve got it made. But if I compare it to someone like Mother Theresa, then I’m lost!
Now, you may say that God gave us all of the Commandments in the Old Testament (your Torah) as a standard or guide for our actions and behavior for doing good, and thereby earning “love” points. But here again we have a problem, as evidenced by the fact that most all of the people of the Old Testament, including the Patriarchs and the Prophets were miserable failures at obeying the Law. That problem is that Man takes God’s laws and interprets them to fit his needs and adjusts the standards of what is “good enough” performance in order to avoid being a law-breaker.
Please allow me to give you example of what I mean. The 5th Commandment says, very simply, “Thou shalt not kill.” Notice that God did not say, “Thou shalt not kill, except for…killing criminals who break the law, killing enemies who try to kill you, killing enemies who haven’t tried to kill you, killing in self-defense, ect.” Then Jesus Christ came along in the New Testament and added another dimension to “up the anti”; concerning the 5th Commandment, He said that even if you think about killing someone, or are angry at them for unjust cause, you are guilty of breaking the law. Keep in mind, when Jesus laid out this standard for keeping that Commandment, He was explaining God’s standard (or requirement) for keeping all of the Commandments, if we are to try to live a perfect life and hope to EARN our way to a love-based relationship with Him.
But, you say, no one can live by that standard of “doing good” – and you are right, none of us humans in ourselves can meet those requirements. Again, the books of the Old Testament are loaded with examples of people trying to keep the Commandments, but failing in every way. In fact, Christians believe that in reality, God set Man up for failure in this endeavor in order to show him that he (man) could not do it on his own; that he needed a Savior. The point is, if I cannot earn God’s love, why should I care about earning the love of men?
When Jesus came along and ushered in the principles of the New Testament, He introduced some profound and radical changes to the old way of doing things as taught by the Old Testament. (By the way, this was all prophesized in the Book of Jeremiah, chapter 31, verses 31-34.) Jesus not only taught these things verbally; He also demonstrated them in the way that He lived, and He verified the authority He was operating under by performing supernatural signs and wonders.
One of the most important things Jesus did was to reduce all of the Old Testament commandments and laws down to two commands: 1) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength, and 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. (Mt 22: 37-40, Mk 12:30-31) Basically, He was saying, if you can strive to keep these two commands, you will keep them all.
Now, let me ask you, do you see any “conditional” words in the commands listed above, other than the words “as yourself” in the second command? For most born again Christians that is not really a condition, since we believe that the Spirit of Love lives in and through us because we cared enough for ourselves to ask Him to come into our lives. The only restrictive word in this command might be the use of the word “neighbor”, as opposed to use of words like “others” or “friends” or “people” or “enemies.” What I’m getting at is that neither Moses nor Jesus gave us any “love commandments” that were conditioned by the idea that someone had to earn that love from us.
But before He emphasized the importance of these two commandments, Jesus had already taught on one of the most important – if not most ignored – principles of love, which included these other groups of people not implicated in the word “neighbor.” Jesus said that we must also love our enemies. He expounded upon the “Love your enemy” theme considerably in Mt 5:38-48 and Lk 6:27-36. In the interest of time and space, I will not write out those verses here, but suffice it to say that in these scriptures He was quite specific in explaining His Father’s expectations on this issue of loving those who aren’t exactly trying to earn your love. Keep in mind, this principle was not something Jesus dreamed up: It is based on Proverbs 25:21-22, which says, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
The Apostle and Epistle writer Paul expounded this tough love message even further in the 12th chapter of the epistle to the Romans, verses 9-21. These teachings are very powerful, but difficult – if not impossible – for the average person to put into practice. In fact, he laments his frustration in following his own teachings on being a good and loving person in Rom 7:14-25. Basically, Paul says that the things he wants to do he doesn’t do, and the things that he doesn’t want to do, he does anyway. Verse 21-25 says, “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members (sound familiar?). What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
The true believer Christian’s concept of “unconditional love” is all wrapped up with the personage of Jesus Christ. Here’s a saying that explains this belief: Jesus gave His life for us, so He can give His life to us, so He can live His life through us. The believer’s overall goal in life is to allow Jesus to live His life through him or her, so that He might have the opportunity to “love” those that the believer comes in contact with into the Kingdom of God and the Kingdom of Heaven, through a conviction that is brought about in the unbeliever by His (Jesus’) actions and words of love. That is why it is so devastating when people who claim to be Christians act and speak in un-Christian ways.
You see, Dennis, it’s not about men loving men unconditionally; if that were the case, then you’re right – what reason would my enemy have for NOT indulging in hateful behavior and treating me badly. (We see this attitude in the Muslim extremists who believe they can “EARN” their way to a blissful afterlife with their “Allah” and a bunch of youthful virgins by killing Christians, Jews and other infidels.) It’s about God loving Man unconditionally through His Son, Jesus Christ, who was sent into this world to provide the only perfect sacrifice for the cumulative sin-debt of all mankind through His death on the cross, and to restore Man’s relationship to God prior to Adam’s and Eve’s disobedience through His resurrection and the gift of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. Jesus said it Himself in the Gospel of John, chapter 8: “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
Christian believers don’t believe that Jesus came to earth to demonstrate how we are to live our lives; only He could obey all of the Commandments and live the perfect life of love. We believe that Jesus (God the Son) was sent by God the Father to fulfill the Commandments, to be sacrificed for the cumulative sin-debt of all mankind, and to be resurrected from the dead (thus defeating satan and his ultimate power) by the Father, so that He might combine His resurrected Spirit with the spirits of those on earth who will invite Him into their hearts through receiving the indwelling presence of God the Holy Spirit into their lives (the “Pentecostal” experience – Acts 3). The Christian believer believes that in effect, Jesus “re-creates” our spirit with His to create a new spirit – a new child of God: Thus, the “born again” experience. The Christian concept is that it is through these newly created lives that Jesus is still able to walk this Earth today, over 2,000 years after His death and resurrection, spreading the “good news” of the Gospel.
Perhaps this analogy will explain this concept a little better: Suppose you, a healthy vibrant man, were to contract a deadly form of cancer and die. Suppose further that I am your brother, and I had this miraculous power to heal sickness and disease and raise people from the dead. Given these assumptions, what are the TWO things I would have to do in order to restore you to your previous, normal, healthy life? I would need to remove your cancer and I would need to restore life to your body. Here’s the reason: If I gave you life but I did not remove the cancer, you would simply die again, in short order. Alternatively, if I removed your cancer but did not give you life, you would be a healed corpse; free of cancer, but still dead.
In the analogy, your situation represents the spiritual condition Mankind inherited after Adam’s and Eve’s disobedience in the Garden of Eden. Cancer represents the debt due for the pride and rebellion that they demonstrated by disobeying God in their attempt to become equal to Him – to become “like” Him in knowledge and power. Until Jesus came, we were all doomed to inherit the sin nature of Adam and Eve, the original parents of all Mankind, and, ultimately, the punishment required for that sin nature.
Death, in the analogy, represents the separation between God and man caused by sin of Adam and Eves’ disobedience and unfaithfulness in the Garden of Eden. This “death” was a severance of the bond between the Spirit of the Lord God and spirit of man, which eventually resulted in the physical death of man’s body (see Genesis 2:16-17).
God’s plan to restore the relationship and dynamics He had with Mankind in the Garden of Eden before the “fall”, is represented in the analogy by the idea of my healing your cancer and restoring life to your spirit and body, neither of which you either earned or deserved (remember, you were dead). In an absolutely awesome act of unconditional love, God did the same for all of Mankind!
It was with unconditional love that God the Father sent His only Son, Jesus, to live among men and fulfill the Commandments that they could not keep, and to pay the impossible sacrificial price for the cumulative punishment due for the sins of Mankind.
It was with unconditional love that God the Son went about His mission: Healing people from sickness and disease and delivering them from demons, without regard to their race, religion, social standing or national origin; teaching His message of God’s love, forgiveness and salvation to Samaritans as well as Jews, to publicans as well as Pharisees, to servants as well as masters, to women as well as men. He went forgiving and ministering to adulterers, thieves, and, yes, even murderers – even though they didn’t ask for it; and finally, in the ultimate act of unconditional love, He allowed Himself to be tortured and killed as the perfect sacrifice for the trespasses and evil acts of undeserving Mankind, past, present and future, that we might become “the righteousness of God.” (2 Cor 5:21)
And, finally, it is with unconditional love that God the Holy Spirit (also called the Holy Ghost) has come to live in the hearts of people who will receive Him, beginning with the day of Pentecost, described in the New Testament Book of Acts, chapter 2 (which corresponds with your Feast of Weeks). In this act of unconditional love, God doesn’t say “Clean up your act and I’ll forgive you and allow my Spirit to bring you life by dwelling in you.” Instead, He says “If you will accept the forgiveness I’ve already provided for you and receive my life-giving Spirit into you being, I will clean up your act and make you a conduit of my Unconditional Love.”
You see, Dennis, we believers in Christ don’t believe this life on earth is all about everybody loving each other (unconditionally or otherwise) and being nice to everybody else with the idea that if I’m good enough I’ll earn my way to some mystical place called Heaven or Paradise in the “hereafter”. (Jesus once told a rich young ruler who came to Him for advice, “Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only One who is good.”[Mt 19:17]) Nor do we believe that life in this world is about establishing a new world order, where everyone is on the same political page – or of the same religion. In fact, we believe that this way of life is impossible, because God’s standards for “being good” and “doing good” are impossible to attain, and Man’s standards vary, almost to the person.
Instead, we believe that life on this earth is about a spiritual relationship which is eventually manifested in our flesh endeavors. We believe that it is who we are that determines what we do in this world, and not the other way around.
In terms of “unconditional love,” our mission in this life is to be witnesses and ministers of God’s unconditional love for all Mankind. Jesus tells us to “Go into the world and preach the ‘good news’ to all creation.” St. Francis of Assisi use to say, “Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words!” God inspired the Apostle and Epistle writer Paul to put it this way:
“For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: That God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”(2 Cor 5:14-21, NIV Bible)
Let me make one thing clear right now: For this way of life to be effective, one cannot operate out of weakness or lack of faith, lest one be overcome or killed by the evil that one is facing, as in the Christians facing the lions in the Coliseum for an afternoon of slaughter and mayhem. No, operating under the concept of “unconditional love” can only be accomplished successfully by acting from the strength of knowing who you are in God’s eyes and what His mission for your life is, as in the story of Daniel in the lions’ den. If you’ve read the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ life in the Bible, recall that whenever His enemies tried to seize Him or kill Him, they were unable to lay a hand on Him and He simply walked away from their midst, until such time that He “allowed” them to take Him into their custody to fulfill God the Father’s plan (mission) for His life.
Please also understand this: I am not suggesting that Christians, or anyone else, are above the man-made laws of our various cultures and societies. I think that it is Paul Harvey who is fond of saying that for a society of people, self-government without self-discipline is ultimately self-destruction. Jesus said, “Render onto Caesar what is Caesar’s, and unto God what is God’s.” Wherever we live or visit, we are subject to the laws of that location. If we break any of those laws, whether we think we were justified or not in our disobedience, we should be prepared to suffer the worldly consequences of our actions. My personal belief is that if we are acting under God’s direction, we can expect His intervention in whatever punishment we may incur. We read in the Book of Acts in the New Testament Bible that when Paul, Barnabas and, later, Peter were incarcerated for their actions and teachings on Christ’s behalf, they were all miraculously released from their confinements and allowed to continue their missions. Even Jesus did not raise up an army to overcome the evil authorities that surrounded Him (much to Judas’ chagrin), because He knew that to truly overcome the evil in men, you must change their hearts; instead, He relied on the protection of His Father, as He went about doing the work that God directed Him to do.
Finally, Dennis, please know that I don’t pretend to be in a position to judge you, your relationship with God, or your religion; after all, the Jewish people were the original children of God, long before Gentiles were let into the Family, and were the first to experience His unconditional love. Jesus was explicit in His teachings to his followers about not judging others, lest they in turn be judged.
Thank you for challenging this concept of “unconditional love” and for providing the forum for the ensuing discussion on this topic. Your challenge caused me to reevaluate my thoughts and solidify my position on this very important subject. The bad news and evil behavior in this world today easily wreak havoc with our emotions and thoughts, pulling us away from the spiritual life we are called to lead, dragging us down to live in the weaknesses of the flesh and soul…pride, anger, revenge, retribution – and unconditional hate.
Sincerely yours,
Mark McLeroy
Romans 13:8-10 (NIV Bible):
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.